Sarah watched her daughter's shoulders slump at the mere mention of having to go school supply shopping in the coming week. "Is summer really almost over already?" her 10-year-old anxiously whispered. Like so many families, Sarah's household was feeling the emotional weight of a season of transition.
Transitions can lead to heightened stress in both parents and children. And this can be the case whether expected or unexpected. Negative or positive. The good news? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tools can offer your family powerful ways to get through these times of transition together. CBT teaches us that our thoughts drive our feelings and behaviors. During transitions families can face thoughts. These thoughts might sound like "This change will be terrible". Or "I just cannot handle this stress."
If these thoughts go without question, they can lead to unhelpful emotions and behaviors. You can help support your whole family by shifting the perspective. You can reframe these hard times as an opportunity for growth. Consider some powerful strategies you could practice with your family:
- Thought Inspection. Family members can write down worries about the coming changes. Then challenge these thoughts with evidence. Maybe your child is worried about making friends. Then they might be able to recall previous years when they successfully connected with new classmates.
- Active Problem-Solving. Teach your children to approach changes on step at a time. Help them to identify the specific concern. Brainstorm solutions. Weigh the options. Then choose one to try. You can help them to reassess as needed.
- Gratitude. Try creating a family ritual of gratitude. You can have each person share one memory they will cherish from the previous season of life. As well as one thing they are looking forward to in the new season.
As a parent, you also have the important responsibility of serving as a role model to your family. Children watch how adults handle change. You can practice self-compassion and use some of these tools during stressful transitions. That will help to show your children how they can successfully work through tough transitions and life changes.
As summer fades into fall, these tools can offer a path forward. They can help you with the back-to-school transition by turning these times into opportunities for flourishing.
